Artemisia

Missing a Missy? Comment to this post and I'll flit home as quick as I can.

"Let's play a game," she said. She slid me a pair of dice, despite the fact that her hands had been empty a moment ago and had not left my sight.

"Chess," I suggested, just to bait her.

"You know how I feel about chess."

"You may have mentioned it, yes." She launched into her usual rant; I took the opportunity to drain my glass and signal for another, my third of the night.

"Every possible move, analyzed and considered. Plotted in advance. And it's not just chess, either!

"Computers can hide their inner workings from anyone not especially versed in such things, but all those feeble video games rely on repetition, strategy. Skill and known quantities, barely any element of chance to them..." The unhappy woman dropped her dice on the bar in now-wordless frustration.

"You sound like you could use a drink." I nudged mine twoard her.

She frowned. "Known proof, known ingredients, no thanks."

"Right. Let's tell the bartender you're bored of all the other drinks and want him to mix you something unusual. Like you want something he hasn't made yet tonight, or this week, or you want something you've never heard of."

"But I've heard of so many drinks. They're predisposed to my side—"

Boring! I cut her off. "Skill inhibition—yeah, I know. Forget who you're talking to?"

"Look, it's been a rough day."

"I'll ask the bartender for a list of drinks. We cut it up, one drink per piece, mix 'em up in a hat, and we both drink whatever we pull out. I won't even tell you what yours is."

She gave me her first genuine smile of the night. "Missy, I love you."

"Careful now. I'm not sure if that's legal in this district. Crazy mortal laws."

She took it as I'd hoped and merely laughed. Lucky me.

I have the best idea evah, kiddies.

I'm gonna illusify pasht into thinking she's human, or crazy, or summat. It will be awesome.

First up: make her think she hears her own pulse.

Next: I don't know but it will be fun, dammit.

Plan? Who needs a plan? PIXIE POWER BEEYOTCH

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are: Thoughtful and sensitive When you are moved to act, you are: Courageous and resolute When you are inspired, you are: Flexible and experimental When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Totally in the moment Your life's purpose is: To change the world

Whatever. Green's the only colour worth liking anyway.

So are Jello shots inappropriate Halloween treats? They're sweet and everything.

Also I was planning to insist on trick-or-treaters who arrive late (after I've gulped all the solidified booze) turning tricks for me, just to see 'em bug out. This is cool Y/N?

Edit: SARCASM, motherfuckers. Do you speak it?

Your Goth Name is:

Calamity Absinthe

Obvious, amirite?

Any URL saying "Drink-Absinthe" is A++ in my book.

OH SHIT THEY'RE ONTO US I mean um it's magic. Sure.

Damn kakodaemons, spoiling perfectly good hops gifts.

Today's boozereffic link is Booze Hound, a little Flash game. Despite its alcoholic imagery, it's probably unbeatable after a few beers. Who makes a liquor-themed game that requires dexterity and quick reaction time, anyway?

Guys, this exodus thing is lame. Not that I'm not on the exile bandwagon, okay, but we gotta get ourselves together or we'll get scattered to all corners.

And that would suck, because I have booze and booze wants drinking, amirite?

So comment below with your 20, help yourself to a drink of your choice, and let's try to relax despite the net-tards! If you're on IJ, you know how to login already. LJ users can login here with your LJ address; I don't really understand it, so if it fucks up, bug Mai not me.

And if you're in neither place, well, gods help your sorry arse.

Boo.